Full Moon
by seanchaidhe
Summary: Full Moon is my AU version of NM that answers the question: what might have happened to our star-crossed lovers if Edward had not left Forks for parts unknown? ON HIATUS
1. Stitches

Disclaimer: All cannon characters, places, and events belong to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just giving Edward and Bella a bit more fluff and a whole lot less angst.

Author's Note: Hello Fellow-Lovers of Twilight! This idea has been bouncing around in my head since I first read New Moon last summer, but lack of time and a six-year case of writer's block prevented me from actually putting keystroke to Word document, at least until now. Any constructive criticism is most welcomed, as I truly want to do these rich characters, as well as my own plotline, justice.

Thanks!

~seanchaidhe

* * *

_Chapter 1 – Stitches_

"_What are you thinking about?" I wondered in a whisper._

_He hesitated for a second before he told me. "I was thinking about right and wrong, actually."_

_I felt a chill tingle along my spine._

_(Meyer 50-51)._

"What about it?" I asked, hoping I wouldn't regret the question.

"I don't want to be wrong for you, Bella," he admitted, the soft music of Esme's favorite coming to a close.

"You're not."

He let out a soft but humorless laugh. "You can't be certain of that. I agonize about our future, Bella, and exactly what it means for you life."

"As long as we're together, that's all that matters," I told him gently, shuffling closer to him.

"I'm still not good for you. As the days go on and you get older, I see that to be a greater truth than every before."

I swallowed loudly, slowly removing my head from his shoulder and trying to catch his pained gaze. "Hey," I said, touching his chin in an effort to turn it. He allowed the movement and focused on my face, his expression relaying his conflicted emotions. "I'm eighteen today, Edward, and in one way, older than you. We've been having this discussion all summer, but it hasn't gotten us anywhere. I want to be with you forever. Do you feel the same way?"

I waited, holding my breath for his response and gazing at his perfect features. Edward's face was an unreadable mask of confliction, but then, something unexpected happened. My brave and stubbornly noble Edward crumbled. His beautiful eyes crinkled and his mouth released a quiet but heart-wrenching sob, as he brought his hands up to cover the despair leaking out of him and permeating the small space of my bedroom.

My heart jumped into my throat. My Edward was far more pained than I imagined and just the thought that my line of questions had put him in this agony, caused my own heart to hurt. "Edward," I whispered, reaching out to touch the hand that covered his face.

He allowed my hands to move his own but immediately proceeded to wrap the now freed appendages around my body and to pull me closer. I felt his face, still scrunched in agony burry in the crook of my neck and burrow into my loose hair.

"Selfishly, I want nothing more than to spend the rest of eternity composed as we are," he whispered, his cool breath tickling the small hairs on the back of my neck. "I want to be entwined with you always, Bella, but not if the cost is your own life."

My injured arm burned as I forced it to hold this tortured man while my other hand ran through his wild hair. "Wouldn't that be my price, though? My choice?" I asked softly while bracing for his rebuttal.

He gently removed himself from my arms and unfolded himself into a standing position by my bed. Even through the darkness of my room and the thickness of his shirt I could see the taught lines of his back. It pained me to see him hurt, but I knew that if we did not have this discussion now and finish it for good, something more painful would be born from this night. "All I'm asking is that you respect my wishes. Respect my choices, Edward."

He turned to face me, his featured now darkened by the silhouette created from the soft glow of the moon that filtered in through the window. "You can't know, what it is, to be what I am. I do. Please, just trust me," he pleaded.

"How can I trust you when you don't trust me?"

His shoulders sagged, frustrated, but not defeated. "Bella."

"No Edward," I interrupted, crawling to my knees and scooting closer to take his hands in my own. "I can't know because I haven't experienced it. But I understand. I hear what you're saying and I understand that it's going to be difficult. But if you really do want eternity with me, as you say you do, then you have no reason to reject my wanting the same thing. And if you still think that I can't make an informed decision, then tell me what I don't know. Talk to me. Have Carlisle and Alice and the others talk to me. But don't decide my life to me. I want to be your partner, Edward, not your puppet."

I looked up at him, my eyes trying to make out the features of his face that the darkness of his own body shielded, but nothing was revealed.

He remained perfectly and inhumanly still. "We can no longer agree to an impasse, can we?" His question seemed to come from the very darkness of the room and brought with it, all the hopelessness that this repeated argument had wrapped around our relationship.

I bit my bottom lip, worrying it between my teeth, trying to hold in the answer that eventually sprang through. "No. We can't."

"So either I change you or . . ."

"Either you respect my choices as you respect your own or I don't know what we're doing here," I breathed, physical pain coursing through my body with the words through my lips.

The silence the engulfed the room was palpable. A physical entity that wrapped itself around my heart and squeezed, but I welcomed the tension. As long as there was tension and uncertainty, there was Edward with me, still undecided, but still together. I feared his answer and that fear kept me silent throughout my wonderful summer, while I cherished the time spent with my Edward and attempted to banish the thought of being without him. The fear kept me floundering in uncertainty, wanting a decision and yet dreading one of the obvious possible outcomes: Edward without me.

Just when I thought the tension pressed so hard down on my chest that it would bust, Edward moved. He sat gently on the bed next to me, my hands still clasped within his own. Due to his change in position, the moonlight no longer darkened his face, but case an illuminating glow upon his marble skin. The pained and scrunched lines were gone, replaced by his skin's usual flawlessness. It was in that moment, when his downcast eyes tracked up my body and came to rest upon my gaze that I was finally able to release the breath that I had been holding.

I don't know what about that moment made me see, be I knew then that we were going to be okay.

"I have always respected you, Bella. I'm sorry that the manner in which I voiced my view may have relayed to you that I felt otherwise. Please know that I have only ever wanted what was best for you and prayed to whatever deity may listen that I have the strength to do what was best. I can't say that I support your desire to be changed, but I respect your wishes."

"Does that mean you'll ask Carlisle to change me?" I asked, my heart picking up speed.

"No," he responded. "But _we_ can go talk to Carlisle about the possibility of changing you, after you have had time to say good-bye to your human life."

"What does 'after you have had the time to say good-bye to your human life' mean?" I asked.

"It means that we won't be changing you into a vampire tonight, Bella. Or tomorrow, for that matter."

"When will we, when I'm forty and look more like you mother than your girlfriend?" I asked, incredulously.

"No. I was thinking, perhaps, in a few years. After you have graduated from high school and college. After you have had more human experiences," he replied, a pleading look in his eyes.

"Edward, I'm already eighteen. After graduation I'll be almost nineteen. If we wait until college I'll be in my twenties. That's too old," I said, shaking my head. I couldn't be nearly six years older than Edward for all eternity. That just wouldn't do.

"Bella, isn't it enough that I've conceded to letting you be changed? Please, just sleep now. We'll talk about timeframes with Carlisle later. Right now you need sleep."

He gently but swiftly scooped me up and deposited me into my bed before climbing in himself. Still on top of the blankets, but close enough for me to press my burning arm in what I hoped was an inconspicuous manner, against his cool body.

Feeling the effects of the medication taking over as the rush of adrenalin finally eased out of my system, I sleepily heard Edward mutter, "Happy Birthday, Bella."

"I love you, Edward."

* * *

Author's End Notes:

Thank you all for reading chapter 1. This is just the beginning and is the major twist in the plotline. From here on out, I will be making New Moon into my own creation. Using what SM has told us about the characters in her four and a half books, I will attempt to construct a semi-believable storyline. Granted, there are a few points that may be OOC, but hopefully not by much.

At this point, the rating on this is T or PG13, but as the story progresses, it may get more lemony and force me to up the overall rating. I make not promises now, either way, but if you're particular about your Twilight fanfic and are against lemons, then I forewarn you now that they might be present in the future, but they also, may not.

Please take a minute or two and review. Constructive criticism is appreciated but so is a "good job" if you feel it was. Thanks!

~seanchaidhe


	2. The Beginning

Disclaimer: All cannon characters, places, and events belong to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just giving Edward and Bella a bit more fluff and a whole lot less angst.

Author's Notes:

Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out. I moved across the country and started a new job this summer, which has taken up considerable writing time. I am hoping that the next chapter won't take me months to get out.

Chapter 2, "The Beginning," takes place in lieu of "The End," chapter 3 of NM. Some of the dialogue is taken directly from SM's text, but placed in my own context. After chapter 3, I'll have more freedom to explore my own scenarios more since the timeline will flow into the blank months Bella experiences in NM. Believe me when I say that they will be anything but blank in my version. Enjoy!

* * *

_Chapter 2 – The Beginning _

I awoke the next morning exhausted. My arm still hurt. I had a feeling that Edward didn't completely believe me when I told him I felt fine, but he kissed my forehead and left to go home and change. Moving through my morning routine, I felt better than I had in awhile, throbbing arm aside. Edward was going to have Carlisle change me. I would finally be like him. We would be equal. I would be worthy.

Edward was standing by his silver Volvo when I pulled into the Forks High School parking lot. He opened my door before I could and then offered me his hand as I exited the truck. Our quiet and yet comfortable walk into the school quickly disintegrated into the pandemonium of the hallway, but Edward and I remained in our little bubble, neither saying a word nor acknowledging those around us.

The morning slowly passed. As lunch approached, I prepared myself to face Alice. I knew that Jasper must be hurting or angry, wherever he went. What Jasper felt, Alice felt. I didn't think this was solely because of Jasper's gift, either. They were just connected.

When we entered the cafeteria Alice was noticeably absent from our table.

"Where's Alice?" I asked Edward.

"She's with Jasper," he responded, continuing to crush his granola bar into dust between his fingertips.

"He's gone away for a while."

"What? Where?"

Edward looked up, his eyes meeting my own. "I'm not quite sure. Alice was trying to convince him to head to Denali."

Denali. Home of the only other clan of vegetarian vampires that I'd heard of. I suppose it would make sense for Alice and Jasper to head there.

I felt my chin drop to my chest as the overwhelming rush of guilt hit me. It was my fault that Jasper had to leave. It was because of me that he and Alice had to leave, just as it was my fault that Rosalie and Emmett left over the summer. My humanity was slowly ripping the Cullens apart.

"Hey," Edward said softly, tilting my chin up gently with a fingertip. "It's not your fault."

While claiming to not be able to read my mind, he was usually accurate when trying to guess my thoughts. Not wanting to get into this in the cafeteria, a mere inches from our noisy peers, I tried to force a smile, but I knew that it, like any of my attempts at lying, was completely unbelievable.

By the end of the day, our quiet bubble has yet to burst. I realized that the agony that washed over Edward's face in my bedroom the night before was gone, but it left lingering traits. There was something somber about the way Edward was holding himself, as if _he_ was waiting for the other foot to drop. I only noticed because I was acutely familiar with that feeling, having lived with it since my encounter with James the previous spring. It seemed that last night's conversation had chased that worry from my heart and mind, but only so far as to take up residence within Edward's. I knew that I had to do something to try to pull him back again.

"When are we going to talk to Carlisle?" I asked as he walked me to my truck.

"He should be home Saturday. We can visit with him then," Edward offered.

But could I really be in their home again? Wouldn't that make things even harder, especially if Jasper and Alice came back?

"Is that wise? Me going over to your place?" Voicing the question made it more and less scary as the same time. If he said 'no,' I would be relieved, but worried that perhaps he was only trying to spare my feelings. If he said 'yes,' well, I honestly don't know what I would do.

"It will be fine," he assured. I only hoped his words were the truth.

* * *

The next few hours at Newton's Outfitters consisted of stocking shelves and thinking about the upcoming conversation with Carlisle, ringing up the occasional customer, thinking about Edward's somber mood, and trying to participate in the conversation Mike insisted we have while thinking about poor Jasper and Alice. When it came down to it, I realized that I needed to be changed sooner rather than later if I was going to be around Edward's family. No matter how much Edward loved me, I also knew he'd never want to be separated from his family. In all honesty, I didn't want to be separated from his family. In many ways, they had begun to become my family.

Edward's shiny Volvo greeted me when I pulled into my driveway. When I opened the door, the quiet hum of ESPN's SportsCenter warbled out from the living room.

"Dad? Edward?"

"In here," Charlie responded.

I hurried out of my coat and into the living room. My father's gaze was still glued to the TV. Edward's sight, however, tracked up to meet mine.

"Hi." The buzzing announcer voice quickly swallowed up my anticlimactic greeting.

"Hey, Bells," my father responded, still firmly engrossed in the game flickering before him. "I think there's still cold pizza on the table."

"Okay."

I made my way into the kitchen and began picking up the leftover pizza. Edward followed in a few seconds later, but remained lingering behind me, leaning against the old yellow cabinets.

Turning around, I took a good long look at him. He seemed to struggle to meet my gaze. Without realizing it, I moved closer to him, quickly coming to hover inches from his cool body. He reached out and pulled me against him, closing the gap that separated us.

We stood against each other until I could hear Charlie begin to shuffle about in the living room. He seemed to be making more noise than usual.

"We better get back in the other room," Edward whispered in my ear. "He's beginning to wonder what we're doing in here."

Edward and I wandered back into the living room and watched more of Charlie's game. At ten, Edward left, kissing me on the forehead as he went. I knew he'd probably be back in my room before I was done with my "human moment," but couldn't help but miss his presence.

Charlie was heading up to bed when I passed by the kitchen to turn off the light. My gifts were still scattered on the kitchen table, just waiting for usage. Scooping them up, I took the camera and scrapbook upstairs with me and deposited them on my bed before heading to the shower.

Once in the shower, I desperately tried to think of some way I could fix the mess my humanity was making of Edward's existence. The only thing that made any sense to me was my change. The meeting with Carlisle on Saturday would truly determine my future, and I couldn't help be a bit scared of it. I'd already caused so many problems for his family. What if Carlisle didn't want to expand his home to include me? It would certainly be a big undertaking, especially after I'd caused all of them such problems, especially Jasper.

Jasper. Another problem with my humanity was that it prevented me from knowing Edward's siblings better. From what I did know, Jasper was a brilliant strategist. I'd seen his and Emmett's multi-board chess games and had learned enough from the other Cullens to know Jasper could plot a brilliant strategy. How would the strategist argue his point?

Try as I might, the separate pieces of my argument just wouldn't fit together.

I quickly finished my shower and headed back to my room. As expected, Edward was waiting for me. Lying across my bed, he resembled some Greek deity, composed on an unworthy surface. He was perfection made flesh and for some ridiculous reason, he was there for me.

After putting away my toiletries, I crawled up next to him. Breathing him in, I attempted to snuggle up against his marble chest. I couldn't help but glance down at his sock covered feet, casually crossed over one another at the foot of my bed. It seemed ludicrous that he lay there, sock-clad feet, one arm tucked behind his head while the other slowly curled around my body. His body was less tense than it had been in the last twenty-four hours and he seemed almost contemplative, staring at my ceiling as if it held the answers to all of our problems.

"You okay?" I asked quietly.

"Alice called." His response threw me off guard, but I quickly tried to hide my reaction and keep my voice calm.

"Oh? Are she and Jasper okay?"

"Yes, they're fine. Jasper's really beating himself up, but he needs to be more careful." He finally turned his head to look at me. "We all do."

"I don't blame him. I don't blame any of you."

"I know you don't." His eye roll did not escape me.

"Why would I blame Jasper when it's my fault?" I whispered.

"Your fault?" His face scrunched up in an irritated visage and he turned his gaze back to the ceiling. "Bella, don't be absurd."

"If I was like you, this wouldn't be a problem." My voice sounded more petulant than I intended.

"If Jasper had better control this would be a problem," he responded, the irritation inching its way into his voice.

We were quiet for a while. I guess neither of us really had much to say on the matter. It had all been said the night before and most likely would be again on Saturday. There was no need to have the same argument again tonight. Instead, I tried to steer the conversation back to where it had been before the talk of blame had came into play.

"So, Alice called?" My fingers found their way to the buttons on Edward's blue shirt. I traced the perfect circle of one, trying to avoid looking at his face while I silently prayed Alice had delivered good news.

"They're at Denali with Tanya and her family," he responded quietly.

"How long will they be there?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"Alice sees them staying until this weekend, but they'll be back in time for our discussion with Carlisle."

"Oh?" Why would they make a point of being back before this talk? Was Edward hoping they would support his ridiculous belief that I should remain human?

"Alice and Jasper want to be there; they all do," Edward stated, in the same calm and quiet tone.

I was quiet while I digested this information. I knew Carlisle was going to be at the house Saturday and I assumed Esme would be there as well, but I didn't take into consideration the rest of the family. What would they say?

It was in that moment that my previously scattered thoughts came together. I couldn't approach this situation as a strategist because this wasn't some disagreement between Edward and myself. This matter concerned his whole family and, not only did they deserve to be there when the decisions were made, but it would be impossible to make these decisions without them. Carlisle wouldn't just be making me into a vampire; he would be making me a member of his family. This was a matter for the whole family to discuss, to have a say in. I would not force my way into their eternity without the consent of Edward's family. That's all there was to it.

"Good," I spoke, calmly and firmly.

Once my mind was settled, my body began to succumb to sleep. Edward and I shifted into our nightly positions of his body spooning mine, his arm slung around my waist, holding me close.

* * *

The rest of the week both passed too quickly and too slowly for me. Edward was visibly on edge, but he was clearly trying to keep that from me.

Not soon enough and all too soon, it was Saturday morning. Edward left my room to go home and change before retuning with the Volvo. I quickly took my "human moment" before going downstairs to grab some breakfast. As expected, Charlie had left for his weekend fishing excursion, so the house was empty.

Just as I ate my last bite of now soggy cereal, Edward pulled up. As quickly as I could without tripping, I dashed outside and down to Edward's car, the door already being held open by my chivalric love.

The car ride to the Cullen's was quiet. The tension in the air was thick. Glancing over at Edward, I noticed him grip the steering wheel tighter than usual; his posture was rigid. Trying to calm him, I reached over and covered his tense hand with my own. His gaze deviated from the road and snapped to my face. Forcing a smile, I squeezed the top of his stone-like hand. In succession, his body parts visibly relaxed until he released his right hand's grip on the wheel. Moving our joined hands onto the center armrest, he gently returned my hand squeeze.

When we pulled up to the Cullen's a moment later, Edward dashed around the car and opened my door at vampire speed before slowing down to help me out. His hand still clutched in mine, we made our way to the front door. A memory of a time the previous spring jumped to the front of my mind: Edward and I, carefully making our way to his front door to meet his family. Only this memory was from a time when I didn't know the people behind the door, didn't love them as my own family. This time, I only hoped they could love _me_ as family.

Just as Edward's hand was about to grip the knob, the door swung open, revealing a smiling Carlisle.

"Bella! How good to see you." Carlisle stood aside and allowed Edward and I to step over the threshold. As I did, I took a deep breath, bracing myself for whatever this day would mean for my future.

* * *

End Notes:

Thank you all who read chapter 2. I hope you enjoyed it. Constructive criticism and/or praise is welcome. Next chapter: "The Vote."

~seanchaidhe


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